Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
