You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
