Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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