If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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