I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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