I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
