all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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