My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
