one two three fourrrrnication!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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