I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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