dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
