I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
one might say we're banned from that church
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
