4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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