are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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