I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize