I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
