yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
