Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
