I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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