the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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