We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
