i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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