You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
