he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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