your room smells of hookers.
And success
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
