i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis