i love accidental penises.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.