she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
