i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
