Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
