He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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