Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
