we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
