well you can't waste a boner
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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