you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize