I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
