Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
