I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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