i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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