He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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