Quick, to the slutcave!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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