Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize