if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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