my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
