please come you make the beer taste better
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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