Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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