last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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