Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
