He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
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