i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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