i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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