omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All I want is dick and wine.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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