I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
