Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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