He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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