Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
