I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's never too late to be topless.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
