i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
