Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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