Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
