He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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