Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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