Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
