im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
