You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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