I think I am morally bankrupt
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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