Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
